Paris Hilton was asked by a paparazzo yesterday if she’d heard of the swine flu and she shook her head “no” and continued to play with her Blackberry. When the photographer explained that “it’s a new flu that’s killing a lot of people in Mexico and everything,” and asked if she was concerned she said “I don’t eat that.”

The swine flu is of course spread from person to person and cannot be caught from eating pork. You wouldn’t expect Paris to know that, since she’s completely oblivious to the biggest story in the news. She must not even glance at the headlines on the papers.

I’m all for public awareness of a possible pandemic, but the swine flu coverage is over the top and it’s unnecessarily scaring the people who do pay attention. From most reports in the US, it’s responding well to antivirals and is easily treated if it’s caught soon enough. No one in the US has died from the swine flu that we know of, which can be deadly but usually only causes mild symptoms. (Update: a 23 month-old baby in Texas has died from the virus.) The government seems to have a solid plan for containing the flu and making sure there are enough drugs available to treat it. (I agree with this editorial in the LA Times that we should take sensible measures, focus on containment without penalizing immigrants and help the Mexican government as much as possible.)

Stewart quipped that swine flu ranks last on the list of things that can kill you in Mexico, with “Bullet Flu” at the top of the list. They showed a clip from CNN in which they turned the entire country of Canada red on a big map for “6 mild cases” of the flu. Stewart said “I like a good scare as much as the next guy, but for six mild cases of the flu you’re going to turn four million square miles bright red?… What does a herpes outbreak look like out there? Blood coming out of your eyes?” Maybe Paris is right not to be too concerned. She’s doing fine Hint! Hint ! read the papers listen to the news Paris...

One would wanna ask is Paris that dumb or is she tryna pull a publicity stunt...

The recession has hit the socialites. Paris Hilton has had to dramatically reduce her appearance fees. OH THE HUMANITY!

Get this, the "New York Fashion Week isn't what it used to be," one industry insider moaned.

Where superstars Renée Zellweger and Jennifer Lopez once parked, now plop former hooker to the elite Ashley Dupre, sex-tape celeb Kim Kardashian, and "90210" graduate Tori Spelling.

They come cheap.

But this year's pretty young things attend for a few thousand bucks' worth of free clothes, grab gift bags missing high-end goodies and settle for McDonald's instead of Starbucks or champagne.

Paris Hilton - ubiquitous this week with sister Nicky and Kardashian in tow - used to charge $50,000 to appear at just one show, another veteran celebrity wrangler said. Now she is showing up at shows this year for free airfare, hotel accommodations and $5,000 in free clothes per designer, sources said.

I have two options here: I can feel bad for Paris or I can stab myself in the eye with a fork. Guess which one I'm choosing.

UPDATE: stab. stab. stab !!!